Restless Thought Syndrome

Thanks, Old Spice.  I didn’t really like my armpits that much anyway.

I’ve used Old Spice since I was thirteen years old.  Not because I’m some loyal fan, but because I’m too lazy to bother trying something new.  I know Old Spice works, so I stick with it.  The other day I ran out and asked the wife to pick up some on the way home.  Normally, I used the blue clear stuff.  She brought home the white stuff.  I don’t really have a preference, so I didn’t think twice about using it.  Two days later my pits are pink, puffy, and itchy as hell.

I now have a preference.

My wife has banned me from applying the white stick stuff to other random parts of my body in a scientific experiment to see if I can duplicate the results.

Now where did I leave my lab book…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/22/south-park-mohammed-censo_n_547484.html

I feel like I should call my mom up to brag a little bit.  “See?  Violence CAN solve everything!”  If you’re an Islamic extremist, at least.

I’m not a huge fan of South Park.  If they’re not offensive, they’re preachy, and if they fail in those two categories they can end up just being flat and boring.  To be fair, though, they have made me laugh a great deal over the past many years.  Often, they offend me even if they aren’t rediculing something that pertains to me.  In their defense, though, they have always been equal opportunity offenders.  No one gets a free pass and they don’t pull their punches.  That being said, more than anything that they’ve said or done on their show, I am offended that it has been made ok satirize things that one man holds sacred and not things that another man does.

Comedy Central has allowed South Park to call the Pope a pedohpille, or a man who protects them, and portray Jesus in satiric ways, and it has constantly over the years cracked more Jewish jokes than any other show or entertainment medium ever has or will.  South Park is also probably the leading source of redicule for Mormonism and Scientology.  The Prophet Mohammed of the Islamic faith, though, is going just too far.  The sad part is that Matt Stone and Trey Parker have objected to this in past episodes and were in the middle of protesting the menality again in the episode that got censored.

Comedy Central didn’t make this decision because of a difference in values placed on the religion, though.  They haven’t taken the stance that one is better than another.  No, Comedy Central’s decision was made in reaction to a threat of physical violence.

Fucking cowards.

I collect books.  I like collecting books.  I don’t even necessarily have to read them, so much as I want to have them available at my fingertips whenever I have the need.  Sadly, books cost money.

By nature, I’m a thrifty individual and I detest wasting money on things I don’t really need or want.  I’ll put off buying new clothes until the holes become much too noticable to escape notice.  My last pair of boots had several holes in the bottom for half a year.  Midway through winter I finally found myself tired of walking through the parking lot every morning and having my socks be soaked by the time at sat down in my office.  Only then did I spring for a new pair of boots.  These boots, I will admit, are certainly destined to turn out just like their predecssors.  I love to play video games, but can’t bring myself to spend the money on them as I did when I was younger.  Back when it was my parent’s money.  I’m even frugal with my foodstuff purchases.

Something I have always failed to save money on has been books.  It’s not even just the search for the next good story, either.  When I was fifteen I vowed to have more books than my father.  I didn’t set a deadline for this goal, though, so I’m taking my time getting there.  I think he still has me beat, but time is on my side, old man.  When I was eighteen, I vowed that when I bought a house, I would have a room dedicated to being my study.  On one wall, I would have my desk.  The other three would be bookshelves.  I have my house now and though I’m not there yet, I’m off to good start.  Currently, I have a small study, and several small bookcases lining my desk and one against the wall next to my desk, all filled with books.    Three more walls to go.  And then I’ll need to get a bigger study.  I like to physically possess books.  The idea of having a Kindle or a Nook leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.  I can see the appeal of a Nook-like device, and sometimes I even feel the desire for one, but when it comes right down to it, I wouldn’t be satisfied without the physical book in my hands.  The idea of having my entire literary collection at the tip of my fingers is extremely cool, but I could never give up the real thing. 

The Nook

I do hope, though, that e-books become the new standard for students.  Imagine having text books for six classes all in the palm of your hand.  Amazing. 

While a complete set of encyclopedias is still on my To-Do List, I have been my collection of randomly purchased books has been steadily growing.  My biggest economic vice is my tendancy to waltz into a bookstore, select a book almost at random (only a few small qualifiers come into play) and buy it.  Usually, this book is one of a series, so that I can have a protracted enjoyment of a story.  Sometimes this leads me to a new favorite author, or a new series.  Equally often my collection of Book One‘s will grow as well, only occassionally to be joined by a forlorned Book Two or Three.  Still, I have no regrets!  Except that it makes my wallet hurt.

The last thing to burn a hole in my wallet:  Brian Sanderson’s Mistborn Trilogy.

It hurts so good.

 For the longest time, I’ve loved to read.  It has only been in the last ten years that I’ve developed a love for writing.  It comes easy to me, and that appeals to my outstandingly lazy sensibilities.  It was something I didn’t have to work at to do well in.  That was, at least, until I learned how far down the skill ladder I really was.  In truth, I am still far down the ladder of ability that measures a writer’s worth.  The more I read, and the more I write, the more humbled I become.  The sad part isn’t that I realized how poor a writer I was, but that I developed a taste for working to improve my writing skills.  I actually enjoy working at something now.  It’s sad, but I’ve never been happier.  I’ve grown interested in working hard.  While hard work goes a long way, there’s a lot of wasted energy when one doesn’t know exactly how to work.

I would suggest that anyone interesting in writing, professionally or recreationally, take a writing workshop class.  It doesn’t matter which genre.  That’s not the point.  Do the workshop for the analytical skills that come with reviewing countless other would-be writers, and by reading their reviews on your own work.  The permanent insight gained from this experience is invaluable.

A few years ago, as part of my educational planning, I took a fiction writing workshop class.  I thought I was decent enough behind the pen to keep myself from flying off the side of a cliff, and it turned out that I was.  What really threw me through the windshield was my inability to articulately analyze.  I could read and know what I liked and I could write and know how I wanted it to sound.  Truth be told, though, I had absolutely no skill in revising, rewriting, touching up, or expanding.  What I wrote the first time was what I wrote the last time.  On a novice scale, this worked fairly well, but there was no depth to it.

While I still don’t consider myself to be outstanding in any stretch of the definition, I do feel that I’ve become more refined in my writing ability.  Things that I would have been proud to have written three years ago depress me with their simplicity, poor word-play, and abruptness.  I have far to go, but I am enjoying the journey.  Even if I never reach my goals, I’m finding the effort to be reward enough.

Remember, a writer writes always.  – Larry Donner

Main Entry: bi·par·ti·san

Pronunciation: \(ˌ)bī-ˈpär-tə-zən, -sən, -ˌzan, chiefly British ˌbī-ˌpär-tə-ˈzan\

Function: adjective

Date: 1895

: of, relating to, or involving members of two parties ; specifically : marked by or involving cooperation, agreement, and compromise between two major political parties

-merriam-webster.com

In today’s day and age, political bipartisanship is (theoretically) the act of two opposing political parties working together, seeking compromises and making deals, in order to come to a conclusion that is mutually acceptable for all involved.  For politicians, this is a method of progressing a thier political ambitions and philosophies in any way they can.

 As a man firm in his convictions and well schooled on his philosophies, I have to ask:  What the hell is so great about bipartisanship?

The very definition implies the maiming, or out right abandonment, of those ideals, morals, or philosophies that were originally supposed to be supported and upheld.  I don’t want my elected official to get elected because they supported something and opposed something, and then go off to Washington to compromise and give ground on the very subjects they were elected to defend and push for.  For example, if John J. Blowhard runs for senator and campaigns for denouncing big businesses and supporting the legalization of attaching lasers to beavers for military use, I don’t want him to get to Washington, engage in bipartisan negotiations with his opposition, and end up with a crack squad of beavers armed to their cute little buck teeth with the latest and greatest equipment from the fine company of NERF!

While Hasbro would undoubtedly love this, and icanhazcheeseburger.comwould probably open up a new page for their website, I would still consider this an abysmal failure in reaching the original goal he was elected to achieve.  So, why is it that bipartisanship is so popular these days?  We want our elected officials to compromise their beliefs and bend to political pressures to get a mutated version of victory and they can pat themselves on the back for a job well done?  Bullshit.  No one praises bipartisanship when everyone already agrees on a subject.  They only hoist it on high as a plateau for political saints to stand upon when they weren’t able to get anything done without it.  So, they deconstruct whatever bill it is that they’re working on so that they can build a new chimera for America to choke on and call it a glorious achievement for political unity and the beginning of a wondrous new era of life for everyone.  And they’ll say things like this straight to our faces while that rotting corpse of a bill passes into law, diseasing the country with its incompetence and stupidity.  All because they had to get something done, or people might begin to think they’re incompetent and incapable of achieving all the magical promises that they made to get elected in the first place.  Well, yes, there is the pride factor, where everyone wants to be looked well upon by equals and praised by their lessers.

While I’m not a big fan by any means, I must admit that Michael Savage summed it all up right nicely.  It is because the political party system in America has become a business, and it’s been like that for years.  They have to get something done, or the people paying them to push their agendas will become angry with their gridlock and start paying other people to do a better job.

 Yay capitalism?